Personal Space: Cleaning Up the Act

lolcathulhuThere’s a few things that the very few people who read this blog may notice; I’m cleaning up my act. Namely more structured posts, and more often posts. I’m thinking of essentially having a two post a week schedule. Further, I’m going to categorize the posts more accurately. Hence the titles and sub-titles.

This isn’t a very interesting post, it’s pseudo-experimental as I go through the process of re-categorizing things. I’m considering categories such as Personal Space about personal thoughts, The Office with regards to items pertaining to my work, with a sub category of programming and IT hinged therein.

Ultimately, however, there is the question of what brought this about, why now, and am I actually going to be able to stick to it this time? If you were to spend the time going through my blog, thereby proving that you have far too much time on your hands and are in desperate need of a life and / or a sexual encounter, you’ll notice that there have often been times when I have said that I am going to do X, or Y, or even Z, but haven’t gotten around to doing them.

Things change, life changes, and I think that my life is changing, and that it is for the better. Our consciousness isn’t exclusively ours, methinks, and often our ability to interact with other people, complete our functions, and be productive hinges on the attitudes and relations that we have with those around us. How’s that for a thought out of my arse?

I guess it also shows that I am moving away from having pretty posts and posting what is actually on my mind. No more avoidance of poor language and swearing, if it comes up, it comes up. If not, then it doesn’t. After all, who am I trying to please? My readers? I have readers? I doubt it. The importance of this blog is for me to express my opinion. For me to allow my aggression and frustrations to spew forth in rhetoric. It makes me feel better!

Why have I entitled this post Cleaning Up the Act? It’s because my life is in a mess – not in the sense that it is crumbling all around me, oh woe is me, but more in the sense of, “Honey! Where the hell is my insulin pen?” Yes, that kind of mess. My bookmarks in my browser is a mess. My desk is a mess. My other desk is a mess. My roleplaying notes are in a mess. Everything is in a mess. My hard-drive, good god, don’t try and find shit on there – it’s a freaking mess!

So, it is time to clean up the act. Bunny has been the greatest source of assistance and realization in this. And it started with her cleaning up my finances. I’m useless with personal finance, and I think that it is because I have this bad habit of not saying No. But that is changing too. I am learning. With cleaned up finances, I’m starting show a profit on my work. That in itself is an amazing thing for me. I’m still in debt, however, but it shouldn’t be much more than 6 months before I am above the red line.

Finances are clean, health is okay; but far from great. Exercise is a bitch. It is something I want to do – the flesh is willing, but the spirit would rather be playing Oblivion, or sleeping, or watching Heroes, or… well, you get the idea. Categorization of life and time is becoming a series of priority over desire, and desire over requirement. This means that some hard decisions have to be taken, and they’re being taken. I’m changing roleplaying groups – leaving a group I’ve been with for 15 years or so, and moving to a group I’ve known for less than a month. I have more fun there.

The same applies with work. The seam between work and private life is becoming blurred as I consider working for myself and working at things that I want to do; writing books, articles, making scripts for movies, designing web pages and figuring out how to make money from it. When I updated my About page the other day, I mentioned eating Humble Pie. There’s a lot of Pie for me to eat – but in doing so, I’m also learning about what is important to me, and where I need to go from here.

So there is this really long list of things that I need to do to clean up my act. It encompasses all spectrum’s of my life. From my work to my relationships, to my health and finances. Thankfully I have Bunny. Without her I would be so screwed.

I wouldn’t go so far as to say that I had an epiphany, I’ve been thinking about my life with serious intent for the last six months or so, so it’s hardly an Ah-Ha! moment. When thoughts of raising your own minions (children) start to cross your mind, and you begin seriously looking at houses in mags thinking, “Hey! I could afford that!” I guess it is a sign that the priorities in life are changing. Or maybe I am beginning to feel old and want to create a legacy. Nah, didn’t think so either.

As always, I am faced with the question: where do I begin? There’s so much to do. Bunny makes lists, that helps. I need to create a schedule so that I can get into a habit. That helps too. Ultimately, it is the realization that my life is shared. It isn’t mine alone anymore. I have someone in it and she is the most important aspect of it. Coupled with that, I have began to truly learn what marriage is, and how to shape and evolve it into something more than a ball-and-chain. This is getting soppy, but it is the truth. Bunny is my wife, my best friend, and my rock in the stormy oceans of life. Without her, I feel that I am nothing.

She has helped me start the cleaning up of my life, and now it is up to me to take that start and run with it. So I am going to. I need to find that balance of work and play. Ultimately I want play to be my work. I need to clean up all aspects of my life before I can achieve that goal. What I need to remember is that it is not a case of where do I start; I have already started, now I need to pick it up and run with it.

Only great things will come of this.

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2 comments

  1. StephanJade · October 21, 2009

    Great article you got here. It would be great to read something more about this topic.

  2. NightWalker · February 15, 2010

    Pretty interesting place you’ve got here. Thank you for it. I like such topics and everything that is connected to this matter. I definitely want to read a bit more on that blog soon.

    Truly yours

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